In the final episode of the Crucial Conversations series, Dave breaks down moments of conflict into their simplest form, like a crime scene, exposing the crucial moment between what happens and how we respond. That critical moment? We tell ourselves a story. In that story we often make others out to be a villain, or we tell ourselves we're the victim, even helpless. And that is what informs our response. No wonder we don't handle crucial conversations well. If you can intercept that moment and tell yourself the truth, then you will see clearly, and you will be better at relationships. Without question.
Important note: Dave explains the difference between people who have legitimately been victimized--their innocence violated--and how that needs to be handled with care, respect, even professional counseling/guidance or legal action. However, in the case of typical conflict in our everyday lives, we can easily tell ourselves we're being attacked or taken for a ride. More often than not, in typical everyday conflict, it's not true. And that victim role needs to be retired, because it holds us back from a life of ownership and growth.
Crucial Conversations is a new series from The Collective where we will learn about some of the most important moments in our relationships. You will understand more about how you handle conflict, you'll see just how destructive silence can be, and you will be reminded that words are incredibly powerful for good or bad.